Saturday, August 30, 2008

An Open Letter to My Shitty Neighbors

I've always wondered what led people to poison their neighbors' dogs. Unfortunately, now I know. These stupid ass dogs will not shut up. First there was a dog whining like a little bitch, and you could hear it throughout the whole effin neighborhood; now it's a grown ass barky dog. Joy of joys. It's like we moved to a fucking redneckville trailer park. Is my house sitting on cinder blocks? Do I have random vehicle remnants scattered around my yard? NO! Seriously, people. Hearing your dogs barking all night long sucks ass. MAKE THEM SHUT THE FUCK UP, or move out in the country somewhere. Sheesh. No wonder I'm a cat person.

Love,
Your Neighbor Who Wishes Your Dogs Would STFU

Friday, August 29, 2008

First Day Sans Work

Yesterday was my last day of work. Sweeeeeeet. I had all kinds of plans for my Friday sans work; I was going to do some laundry, read for class, pick up stuff around the house, play with the cat, etc. What did I accomplish today? I got up at 9:30, ate a bowl of Trix while watching the price is right, and then I went back to sleep with the cat until almost 2. WTF. I totally wasted my first work-free day. Sad.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Butt Smell

This morning I found Olly sleeping in Brad's office chair (he's so cute I could eat him). Naturally, I took a shitty picture on my phone and sent it to the Bard. Then, this conversation ensued:

Me: I think Olly misses the smell of your butt.

Bard: My butt smell can be pretty memorable.

Me: Yeah, you're tellin' me!

Bard: Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha [Note: I didn't add any extra ha's to make myself seem funnier.]

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Ikea

Disclaimer:This picture was taken a while ago on Brandon's camera phone, so please forgive the poor quality.

I was looking through the pictures on my phone, which are mostly of my cat (holy shit I'm one of those people now), when I came around to this picture. Nevermind the bowls that look like boobs that I'm holding up to my chest (haha), but is it just me or is the guy behind me posing for my picture? Why did I not see this before? That son-of-a-bitch! That's my move!
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

LoLleRz!!1! Ahem, I mean this is quite humorous.

If you haven't yet, you should check out May I Have a Cheeseburger?

Don't get me wrong, I love poor grammar and funny cat pictures, but this is just funny.


Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Olympics

I've been enjoying watching the Olympics this time around, especially gymnastics and synchronized diving for some reason. Anyway, tonight I got to thinking: How awesome would an all-round (and I mean ALL-AROUND) competition be? It would kick so much ass if there were a handful of olympians who competed against each other in every single damn event (not counting team sports) for a medal. Seriously, these people would be running marathons, diving, doing the pommel horse, pole vaulting, swimming, sprinting, steeplechasing, archery, and whatever other events there are. I'm sure all the participants would be horrible at everything, but I would watch it purely for the laughs. Hilarity would be sure to ensue. It would be the best once-every-four-year sports clusterfuck known to man, guaranteed to be a ratings goldmine.

Speaking of the steeplechase race, did anyone see that? I was watching people do things that are usually done by animals, or I guess in this case it would be animals with people on them (whatever). These people run around the track jumping over horse obstacles, one of which was a water hole. It felt like something was missing, though. Horses have to run this crap with people on their backs; shouldn't these steeplechasers have to run around with some kind of creature strapped to them? I think it would make the race more comparable to its originating horse race, and it would be a shitload more fun to watch.
Pardon the writing, it's hard to write in paint on a laptop. You get the idea, though.

Best. Comic. Ever. Period.

Okay, people

When I answer the phone and say, "Art Department, this is Soleil," and you ask me if this is Rent-A-Center, the only person who looks dumb is you. Just sayin'...

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Lil' Post

I always forget how much I like certain things (usually food). I'll end up eating something I haven't had in a while, and it's like I'm rediscovering it all over again. Brad bought some salami the other day, and I swear I've eaten half the package. I forgot how much I looooooove hard salami. This has also happened with Dr. Pepper, yogurt, biscuits, and I can't even remember the rest. WTF. How the hell does someone forget that they like something?

Completely unrelated:
I was reading The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch, and Brad was making fun of me for being a sucker for feel-good books. Yes, I like books like Chicken Soup for the Arbitrarily Selected Person's Soul, I'll admit it, but is that so bad? Brad said, "What's in those, like sob stories and crap? I can't believe you stoop to that level." So I told him, "Maybe you should try reading Chicken Soup for the Douchebag's Soul." He can be such an assface sometimes.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Holy Crap

I think it's safe to say that I have neglected my blog. I actually kind of forgot it existed until I started reading Sam's blog, and it made me miss writing out my "junk."

A whole heck of a lot has happened since I last posted in December (I am so ashamed)! I'll give you the quick and dirty version, and I'll give you the juicy details later.

Since December of 2007:
  • Brad and I celebrated one year of being married. Yay!
  • We moved out of our apartment and into a house in April/March (it's fuzzy).
  • We have been slowly but surely working on the house. It doesn't quite feel like home yet, but it's getting there.
  • We got a new roommate. His name is Olly, and he rocks.
  • My parents decided they were sick of Houston, so they went to Brazil indefinitely (WTF).
  • I am trying to get their house sold, and it's a pain in the ass.
  • My last day of work is in exactly two weeks, then I will be a full time student once again. I want to graduate in May very, very, very badly.
  • I get to work with real clients this semester, and I am terrified!!!
That's all I can think of for now. I will come back and elaborate, and maybe I'll even post some pictures. Good times.